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MS Article or Multiple Sclerosis Article:

Multiple Sclerosis Dating:  

Dating and Relationships

After Being Diagnosed

with Multiple Sclerosis? 

Multiple Sclerosis dating -- can we date or develop a meaning relationship again after being diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis?

Is it even a possibility to maintain a dating relationship after being diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis?

I think so, because you never know when out of the blue you will meet someone that you connect with on a very different level that just seems to understand you, in spite of what you are physically going through because of Multiple Sclerosis. This is what happened to me.

About 2 years after I was diagnosed with a severe case of Multiple Sclerosis, I was doing what I could to try to do to be around people as often as I could.

After all, I reasoned that I still needed social connections after I was given the diagnosis of Multiple Sclerosis. I also felt that if I did not find a way for me to be around other people, where I enjoyed their company, I thought that I would not survive what I was going through at the time because of Multiple Sclerosis entering my life.

But, I was starting to become discourage, because even though I was around other people, I did not feel like they really understood me for me.

Have you ever felt like you did not really connect with those that were around you, like some how you just did not “fit in” or belong where you were? I have felt like this off and on through out most of my life.

Most people have. But after you are given the diagnosis of Multiple Sclerosis, the importance of finding people that you feel like you can connect with – that seem to understand you as a person – becomes so much more important.

Multiple Sclerosis dating was something that crossed my mind off and on, after I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis, but who would want to date me?

After all, I could not physically do what I did before Multiple Sclerosis attacked my body and caused a myriad of often intense physical problems to where I was not functioning that for much too many days of the week.

But then it happened. I met someone new that was just a chance meeting and some how we connected in a totally different way. I will call the man that I met David, just so that it is easier for me to tell you about him. I am not really sure as to what brought us together in the way that it happened, but I do know that at the time that I met him, David worked second shift. 

Working second shift just kills socializing with other people. Those who work first shift are at work before you are even awake for the day and when you get home from work, those who work first shift are already in bed for the night. This leaves you with no one to talk to at night after you get home from work and this makes it very difficult for you to find anyone that you can enjoy anything with socially.

I had extreme ms insomnia most nights at that point when David and I first met and I was up most of the night just about every night. I told David that he could call me after he returned home from work, if he wanted someone to talk to at night. I guess that was how it all started.

My mother told my “friend” that I was so sick with severe Multiple Sclerosis that I could not do anything at that point. That was true, to a certain degree, but that did not mean that I was incapable of developing a relationship with someone.

My MS disability did not matter to David. David really enjoyed talking to me and we just got along with each other very well.

David saw past my Multiple Sclerosis disability, that occurred because of the damage that Multiple Sclerosis had caused to the much of my nervous system.

David cared enough to talk to me when other people treated me like it wasn’t worth their time to try to talk to me at all. Other people acted like if I couldn't do what they could do that I wasn't worth talking to.

I felt like I was a waste of time to everyone else, but not to David. He made me feel like I belonged. I did not feel so out of place when David and I talked.  I felt like I was a person again.

I had not really felt like a person for much of the first 2 years after I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis, because the doctors and other people around me acted like I was a constant "sick patient" that they were just visiting out of pity more than because they really were concerned about me as a person.

David and I are still dating after 10 years. I know I want things to move to a different level for David and I.

At times this can be more difficult because of my disability because of Multiple Sclerosis, but I no longer think that anything is totally impossible.

David has helped me to realize that I have a life, no matter whether it is the one that I chose for me or not.

None of what has happened to me, because of Multiple Sclerosis means that my life doesn’t have meaning. My life matters, in spite of the Multiple Sclerosis diagnosis and so does yours.

Don’t let Multiple Sclerosis steal your life away from you. Find ways to connect socially and don’t give up that you can date someone and have a meaningful relationship after being diagnosed with MS.

We all need other people in our lives and we all need each other in some way or another. Your life does matter and whether you realize it or not your life does impact those that are around you, even after Multiple Sclerosis has changed your life in someway or the other.

Develop new social connections after the diagnosis of Multiple Sclerosis

Find ways to be around people. Go to where people are to develop social connections.Other ways to connect on line are subscribing to a MS Blog, MS forum or an MS chat room.

In my opinion, both a Multiple Sclerosis Blog and a Multiple Sclerosis forum or even an MS chat room provide valuable outlets for reducing our feelings of being disconnected from the world around us.

Finding other people that understand more of what we are going through and talking through all of what we are dealing with on a daily basis really can help us not to feel so alone in our struggles with Multiple Sclerosis.

MS Blogs, MS forums , and MS chat rooms can also be a good way for us to find out more about Multiple Sclerosis and about what treatments in complimentary medicine (both drug treatments along with alternative and natural ways) are possible ways for helping us with reducing the symptoms of Multiple Sclerosis.

Off-line social connections

Those of us with the Multiple Sclerosis diagnosis also have other off-line options for finding ways to develop social connections with other people.

As far as Multiple Sclerosis dating, this can cause some concerns, but in spite of the Multiple Sclerosis diagnosis,  we need to find ways to get involved socially again, for our sanity's sake and to help us learn to redevelop relationships and social connections again.

Before Multiple Sclerosis, it was a whole lot easier to meet people and to be around people, but even if your case of Multiple Sclerosis is more severe, causing more of a disability or disadvantage for developing new relationships, don't worry.  There are ways for us to reconnect with people for both on-line and off-line social connections that can actually help us to get used to interacting with people again.

Who knows -- the efforts that we go to can actually lead to a dating relationship, even after we have been diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis!  It is possible for us to date again, even after MS has entered our lives.

As Monte Python would say -- I'm not dead yet!

We are still valuable human beings, that just happened to end up with Multiple Sclerosis.  In spite of the Multiple Sclerosis, don't let the MS define who you are.

Even if you may not be able to do what you did previously, before Multiple Sclerosis affected your health, you are still you.  Focus on what you enjoy about life.  Focus on being you again.

Isn't that what we want we want to know when we enter a relationship and date somebody? We want to know what the other person is like. 

We want to know what they like and what they don't like.  We want to know that the other person is interested in us as a person in some way or another.

So -- Go For It!  If you don't succeed the first time -- don't give up!

When it comes to Multiple Sclerosis dating, this does make it more difficult, but it is not as impossible as you may think!

Remember: failure is not getting up and trying again when things don't work the first time!  If we keep on doing what we can to get involved in living life again, after Multiple Sclerosis, we have a good chance of developing meaningful relationships again!

Ways to connect with other people can include:

* Join a Multiple Sclerosis support group or a MS support group - support groups can help us be able to cope better with the changes that Multiple Sclerosis has brought into our lives by allowing us an outlet of the emotions that can often accompany the mild to severe symptoms of Multiple Sclerosis.

Talking about how you feel can help to relieve the internal stress that you can be feeling, that can contribute to making you feel depressed, lonely, anxious, angry, sad or however else you may be feeling after Multiple Sclerosis changed your life.

* Attending MS support groups or Multiple Sclerosis support groups may require us to be able to find ways for us to be able to get a ride or have someone else attend the groups with us for us to be able to attend a support group on a more regular basis (this also assumes that our health is doing well enough for us to be able to attend a group.)

Attending the support groups is often more beneficial and well worth the effort for us to physically be around people as much as we can.

* Join Local social groups (near where you live) -- this can also be an option to help reduce how depressed or anxious that MS can contribute to making us feel sometimes.

* If you are physically able to handle it, you could also volunteer to help out in different community groups or to visit people in the hospital or nursing homes or volunteer to be involved in whatever you would enjoy helping others with.

What do you need to do for you to have a better chance of meeting someone to develop a relationship with us, who can work with you, as far as your good days and bad days in dealing with your Multiple Sclerosis Symptoms?

First you need to find a way to meet people. Develop some different kinds of social connects (both on-line and off-line). It is better if you can meet together face to face. Pay attention to body language of the other person. The reactions of our body language to everything that we encounter when we last

Then decide what you would like to have for the person to have for character, personality, likes or dislikes, etc.

Don't be completely rigid in what you are looking for in someone that you would like to develop a relationship with.

Be open minded about those who my be interested in you for a relationship.

Don't take things too quickly if you do meet a potential person to develop a relationship with. Decide if you really trust this potential person because the more disabled you are because of MS, the easier it may for someone to try to take advantage of you.

This just means that you probably need to tread a little more cautiously at first until you get to know them a little better in a public situation.

Don't start out being alone with people, when you are just starting to get to know them!

There is safety in numbers. If need be, ask a friend or 2 to go with you the first few times that you are around the person that you are interested in knowing a little better and don't be shy about asking your friend what they honestly think of the other person. Friends can be more objective than we can, once our emotions become more unstable.

Whatever you decide to do for developing new relationships or for finding someone to date, after being diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis, keep positive, keep an open mind and be more cautious to begin with to prevent setting yourself up for problems that you could have otherwise avoided.

Whatever you do, just go for it and enjoy yourself.  Finding ways for Multiple Sclerosis dating, is possible again with learning to find ways to develop social connections with other people again. 

Even though this can be more challenging at times, when it comes down to also dealing with all of the MS symptoms that you may be battling with -- this doesn't mean that it is impossible!  Finding a way to adapt things is part of the challenge, with dating and developing relationships after Multiple Sclerosis has entered our lives, but it isn't impossible!

After all, you never know when you could meet that some one special, just around the next corner!

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